My husband and I spent a weekend recently in South Texas at a scenic park. We met another couple there and stayed in a stone cabin. We hiked, fished, and cooked gourmet meals. In the evenings I required that everyone sing for their dinner. We had so much fun singing that we just kept on after the dishes were cleared away and the domino game began. We sang tunes from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. I don’t think we knew all the words to even one song…we’d start it and then trail off and come back in for the chorus, like “Help me Rhonda” or “Big Girls Don’t Cry.” It was great fun!

I have one regret, though. My friend Pam and I drove into town to get some supplies at the local mercantile store. We laughed as we pulled up to park when we read the sign posted on the front of the building, “No Spitting on Sidewalk! Offenders fined $5-$100.” I looked at my friend and admonished, “Now, Pam, you CANNOT spit here!” I regret not taking a picture of that sign!

We were checking out when I casually asked the man bagging my groceries if they had many spitting offenders.

“Naaa,” he drawled, “Not many. We put that sign up to keep my uncle from sitting on the bench outside the store and spitting his tobacco juice on the sidewalk. It’s a hazhard. Customers might slip and fall!”

“Why didn’t you just tell him that he couldn’t do that?” I asked.

“Because he don’t pay no ‘ttention to us. We had to tell him the health department posted the notice.” he replied.

Pam and I looked at each other with our eyes wide. Now that’s an idea! All the things you want to say to family…you can just make a sign and blame it on the government!

You know how you get started thinking about something and then other examples of it show up? For instance, you’re considering buying a certain car and all of a sudden you see that car everywhere. Well, that’s how it’s been with spit ever since I saw that sign.

Last week I was in Austin stopped at a traffic light. I glanced over at the car to my right and saw a young man holding a San Pellegrino bottle up to his mouth. He was not drinking from it. He was SPITTING in it! I guess he thought that would be chic…spitting in a Pellegrino bottle rather than an ugly old can or a bucket. It was disgusting and I sent him a disgusted look as he pulled his white Chrysler away. How can you make spitting appealing?

My answer came on Saturday when I opened the New York Times, and there it was, “Spitting Parties.” Apparently, people with lots of money go to spitting parties and send their spit to companies like 23andMe that maps their genome. People all dressed up spitting into little cups. Disgusting.

Finally, just to put an end to the spitting subject, I thought about how Jesus spit on a blind man’s eyes and restored his sight. Okay, I guess I would let Jesus spit on my eyes, but really, why did he have to use spit? Couldn’t he have just said, “Be healed?”

Just when I thought the spitting subject was done, I heard last night that someone spit on a member of congress. I will not comment on whether I thought that was a good use of spit. You will have to decide for yourself. Maybe they can put a sign outside the House Chamber. “No Spitting!”


2 comments on “Spit”

  1. LOL! It’s funny how when you are aware of something, it rears up in the unlikeliest places.

  2. Cute. Actually, I think Jesus spat on the ground, made mud with his spittle, and applied the mud to the blind man’s eyes, spit mixed with dirt, then He told the blind man to go wash the mud off; he obeyed and was healed.

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