what children teach us

By: ewhite422

Apr 11 2010

Category: Uncategorized

1 Comment


I sat in the ER examining room on Friday night, as the doctor tried to determine if my husband was having a stroke or a heart related event.  One of the staff struck up a conversation with me.  Within 3 minutes I learned that he was going through a divorce and that he had 2 children under age 10.  I told him about Emergency Ministries (www.emergencyministries.org), and he told me about a Facebook site (The Small Faces of Divorce). 

Having been an adult child of divorce and a divorced parent of 2, who were teenagers when their dad and I ended our 24 year marriage, I recognized the pain in his eyes.  Remembering our conversation while doing my reading and thinking this morning, I explored the Facebook page and became “a fan,” or rather a commiserator, if that is a word.

I was reminded of something I wrote when in pain over my own divorce…

Children teach us
Everything we never wanted to know.
From the time
We know of their arrival
Our selfish cares war against
Their existence and wellbeing.
We can no longer do as we please,
There is another to think of,
And they are not going away.
Neither do we want them to
At least, not for very long.
The sleepless nights,
The ragged mornings
With the smell of bananas and applesauce,
All form memories held dear
Once we are far from them.
And then they grow to question
Everything you think you are teaching.
Their little fingers pry
At all the broken places
You think you hide so well.
Okay, so they found you out!
Now what?
How much do you tell them
About why that place is broken?
How can you fix it
So they will stop pointing it out?
One day, when they have their own children,
They will understand,
You hope.
But it is of little comfort
When you’re still reeling from their scorn
And you’re still wishing for their adulation.
Children teach us things
We never wanted to know
Yet through that fearful lesson
We may well become who we always wanted to be.

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One comment on “what children teach us”

  1. Ohhh this is beautiful and so painful at the same time!!!


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