By: ewhite422

Apr 28 2010

Category: Uncategorized


I’ve had five “therapists” in my life, all of them after I turned 40.

All except two are men, two hairdressers, and one was gay…is gay…I live with his “therapy” now more than ever, since he colored my hair just one shade more golden than Marilyn Monroe’s famous locks.  I figure he did this so I would have to travel to Austin every few weeks to hide my brown roots and to see my granddaughters.

Anyway, let me tell you about one of my “therapists.”

His name was Carlos, a wonderfully colorful Spaniard, who owned an upscale hair salon in Austin with his French wife, Claudette.  Carlos gave me the most astute advice after I peered at him in the mirror through tears and announced that I was ending my 24 year marriage while he worked on my hair.

It’s farcical to watch yourself pouring out your heart to someone you see every couple of months and don’t know all that well.  But it happens every day for these people who do hair.  And I guess they just accept it.

Carlos straightened his back and began speaking in English with his beautiful accent, “I’m going to give you some advice.”  He gestured broadly, scissors in one hand, comb in the other.

I was ready.

“First,” he leaned in for dramatic effect, “only be with people who make you feel good about yourself, who support your decision, and who do not lecture you about what you should or should not do.  You have come to your decision after a lot of thought.  It’s your decision, not theirs.  And they do not know what you have lived.  So be with people who make you feel confident and good.”

“Second, watch out for male friends of the family.  There might be men who secretly have wanted to bed you and now you are in a vulnerable place.  These are people who will take advantage of you.  Beware!”

“And third,” he was waving his scissors around as he gestured, “everyone will try and get you to their church.  They have the best church.  They have the best pastor.  You can get your life straight. They’ll say that divorce is a sin.  This is a sin.  That is a sin. On and on.”

I smiled.  That was so true.

Carlos again leaned forward for emphasis, “But YOU have your church.  You have your faith in God.  You’ve prayed about this.  You know what you need to do.  Don’t let people tell you what to do.  And beware of people who try to be too good!  They’re always talking about sin.”

“Regular people who sin here and there, who don’t try to be so good seem to turn out pretty well, but the people who try to be so perfect all the time?”  He paused for effect, “are just waiting to be bad!  Something happens and they do something really bad.”

“So don’t take everything so seriously.  If you sin, you sin.  That’s why we have church!”

I loved Carlos!


2 comments on “therapy”

  1. Carlos was too funny! Hopefully there is a heaven so that he can waive those scissors around for emphasis, still.

  2. Reblogged this on Elaine White and commented:

    Missing Carlos…he passed away a couple of years ago, but he will always have a place in my heart.

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