one last chocolate

By: ewhite422

May 26 2010

Category: Uncategorized

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She had her plan.  After her boring afternoon accounting class at the University of Mexico, she would ride the bus through Mexico City’s smoggy, crowded streets to her home, where she knew which medicines her parents used and where they kept them, medicines that would help her end her life.  Aixa had been depressed a very long time.  Her parents’ unhappy marriage, her mother’s illness, her father’s drinking…all of these contributed to her list of why she did not want to live any more.

When class ended, she was swept out the door with the crowd, and then she stood in the hallway, contemplating her plan.  She decided to indulge and buy herself one last chocolate bar before she ended her life.  Trudging toward the concession stand on campus, she heard the sound of guitar music close by.  She had always loved music.  What a fitting way to end her life…chocolate…music.  She bought the candy and approached the edge of the crowd that had gathered around a group of Americans who were singing and clapping to the music.

“What on earth was this?  Who ever came to their campus to put on a free concert?”

She listened to the words and finally figured out that they were singing about Jesus Christ.  “Oh great!  Jesus Christ could have been a lot of help to me, but now it’s too late.  I’m done.  I have nothing left.  Why didn’t He show up sooner?”

The guitars stopped and a young man began to challenge the crowd, “You have a destiny!  You may have thought that all was hopeless, but I am here to tell you that God has heard your cries.  God has seen your tears!  Your life belongs to God and He has a plan for your life!”

“Oh, really,” she thought.

She started to walk away, but she couldn’t.  She wanted to hear more.  Maybe this “God” was trying to reach her before she did something she could not take back.

When the young man invited the students to come forward and ask Jesus to be lord of their lives, Aixa could not resist.  “What have I got to lose?  Maybe God can change my mind between now and the time I get home to take the overdose.”

She prayed with a sincere young woman to “receive Christ” and to fulfill her destiny on earth.  It all sounded good.  Where were they when I really could have used them, she thought.  She gave her contact information to the young woman and was promised that someone would be in touch with her soon.

She rode the bus home and decided that she would wait to kill herself.

That was 29 years ago.  Aixa and I just finished an “instant message” conversation this morning.  She ended up marrying the person we trained to be the pastor of the church we established.  And she has lived with the consequences of what happened that day at The University of Mexico when she bought her “last” chocolate bar.

I will be writing about her story in my book and will include excerpts from her experience of having been “evangelized” by American missionaries.

We laughed recently, I said, “Well, Aixa, no matter what’s happened, at least you didn’t kill yourself!”

We never know how our lives will affect others.  Whatever I did in Mexico, whatever influence I had, I will always remember that she did not kill herself.


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