violence at home

By: ewhite422

Aug 13 2010

Category: Uncategorized

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It starts with verbal abuse…name calling…put downs.  It escalates to other abuse, sexual and/or physical.

I have met so many smart women who confess with shame that they are victims of abuse.  Yes, men can be victims, too, although women tend to account for the larger percentage.

Why does it happen?

Mental health professionals ask that question daily, and usually it stems from patterns the abuser saw in their own childhood.

Can someone be “fixed” so that the relationship will work?

Not without long term therapy and a great deal of patience from their spouse.

Isn’t it better for the children to have 2 parents together, even though one abuses the other?

No!  Abuse is not a good example for children.  They need nurture, not abuse.

Why do smart women stay in abusive relationships?  Because our culture and our prevalent religious systems have placed a premium on “turning the other cheek” and honoring the vows, “till death do you part.”

Are those messages archaic?  No, but they have exceptions, especially when the vow to “honor and cherish” has been broken.

What got me started on this was watching a video of Rihanna’s and Eminem’s new song, “Love the Way You Lie,” on CNN this morning.  I am horrified and aghast.

Just had to get it off my chest.


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