Still Loving No Matter What

I wrote a couple of years ago on this blog about my stepdad’s love for my mom (the title is Love Story).

Well, the story goes on and it has me in its grip on a daily basis.

We had to admit my mom, who is suffering from Lewy Body Dementia which also has Parkinson’s symptoms, to an assisted living facility.  The place is lovely.  The caregivers are truly wonderful.  But, obviously, it’s not home.

She reminds us of it daily, even after we did take her home for a couple of weeks and hired a caregiver to stay with her during the day.  She grew hostile to her caregiver and threatened to hit her with her cane, then she locked herself in her bedroom, and finally, she fell on the living room floor after the kind young woman had left for the day, and my stepdad could not pick her up.  He called my husband in a panic and Brooks was able to lift her and get her to bed.

So we took her back to assisted living in the middle of the night.  And now she accuses my stepdad of having someone else…of having an affair.  She tells him he does not love her anymore and that he should just give her the money (what money?) and be on his way.

It is heartbreaking.  I tell him over and over that I KNOW that he loves her and has loved her well for 37 years.  I remind him that it is just the disease talking…not the love of his life.  But he cries every morning when I talk to him by phone and every evening when he has dinner with us.  Her plate is still set, and her chair is empty.  I just can’t bring myself to take the place setting away.

He leaned over her yesterday as we were preparing to leave.  “You are the love of my life,” he whispered, “There is no one but you.”

I think my stepdad is a saint.


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