A Significant Birthday

By: ewhite422

Apr 22 2014

Category: Uncategorized


This birthday ends with a 0, so I am into my next decade of life and adventure.  Aging is not for the faint of heart!  But I will do my best to make use of the time I have left.

I was not a healthy child…asthma, bronchial pneumonia, and weeks in an oxygen tent in the hospital.  I really thought I might die at 4 years old.  I was okay with that.  I was tired of trying to breathe, and I felt, on a spiritual level that there were friendly spirits who were ready to greet me, if I did pass.

Well, I obviously did not pass, but at this stage in my life, I am getting ready.  I have seen the “death industry,” dealing with my mother’s dementia.  No thank you.

I was talking about this with my daughter a few weeks back, and she said she had heard of people who sat in their cars with the garage door down.  “Going in your Mercedes wouldn’t be so bad!” she said.

I wasn’t ready for her willingness to let me go.  You know how complicated mother/daughter relationships can be.  But it’s true, I do not want the long term care that my mom is enduring.

I spoke with one of my friends recently, “Maybe I’ll just go sky-diving and accidently forget to open my parachute,” I said.  She knows me too well.  “You would look ugly for your funeral,” she said.

We laughed.

Aging is not for the faint of heart!



4 comments on “A Significant Birthday”

  1. Sometimes when I read your posts I think we must be living parallel lives. I lost my dad three years ago, and the dementia of that last year took a toll on the whole family with caregiving and emotional load. There aren’t any right answers to the problem. In our quest to extend life, we often do more harm than good. How good is an extra four years if it means being tied into your wheelchair with a bib around your neck? Watching the dying process as a family is so hard. We love them, but if we wanted them back, it wouldn’t usually be in the condition they were in. We want them back young and healthy and engaged in our lives. Sure makes heaven a lot more attractive, doesn’t it?

  2. I’m like you, when I am stressed, I work through it with words. Even when I can’t write, my mind is writing. I blogged through that whole experience, because it was the only way I could process it and get any sleep. Otherwise it kept me awake night after night. I sure hope things improve with whatever is affecting your husband’s memory. He sounds like a wonderful man, and you’ve had enough stress lately!

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