And God Said…

By: ewhite422

Feb 12 2015

Category: Uncategorized

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Have I told this story already?

If so, scroll on…

I left my husband after 3 1/2 years back when I was 23 years old. We married after my freshman year in college.  My mother told me I had to be a virgin when I got married, so I was determined to solve my “problem.”  But it was not a good fit.  His family, from Louisiana, was patriarchal, and my family was matriarchal.

Do you remember the television show, “All in the Family?”  Well, that was my experience of my husband’s family.  My father-in-law would tap on his tea glass from his recliner in the den, and my mother-in-law would come running with a fresh refill.  My husband expected the same kind of service.

I was miserable.

I decided to talk to my husband’s best friend about my problems.  Mistake.  He declared that he loved me and that, whatever happened to Robert, he deserved it.

I ran away with him.  It happens.

I moved to California with the best friend and filed for divorce in Louisiana. Back then in that state, you had to be separated for a year and then get a divorce.  I don’t know what it is today.

So I lived with my husband’s former best friend, went to modeling school, and worked at John Wayne’s restaurant, The Warehouse, in Newport Beach.

I lived it up, tried marijuana, and tried to put my conservative past behind me.

But the feelings of guilt hounded me.

Finally, after I had been gone for 7 months, I prayed.  It was on the way home after taking the bus from my job. “God, I’ll go anywhere or do anything, just to have peace with you!” I prayed as I walked from the bus stop to the apartment.  “I’ll EVEN go back to Robert! But PLEASE don’t make me!  Nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done.”

I said “Amen,” turned the corner, and Robert was sitting on my front doorstep.  My eyes widened.  I had not seen him in seven months.  Last I had heard, he was in Mexico training to be a missionary.

And here he was out of the blue.  And God said, “Well, you said you’d do anything.”

I climbed the stairs and said, “I want to be the wife I haven’t been.  I want to make it clear, I don’t love you, but I pray God will teach us to love each other.”

“I don’t love you either,” he said, “But I believe God will lead us.”

About that time, the best friend came home.  I sent Robert out for a walk while I had a talk with Jerry.  I told him my prayer and how Robert was right there after I said, “Amen.”

He said, “Well, how can I fight with God?”

Jerry left while Robert and I packed up my 5 suitcases, and then he drove us to LAX, all 3 of us in the front seat, Jerry and I sobbing.  We got the last 2 seats on the last red-eye flight back to Shreveport. I felt like I was in a movie…Robert checking the bags and Jerry and I sobbing while kissing and saying goodbye.

I spent 20 more years in that marriage, and I got 2 wonderful children. I moved 21 times in 24 years. He was a “mover and a shaker.”  I learned Spanish when we were missionaries in Mexico, and I made wonderful lifetime friendships there. I finally ended the marriage in 1997.

I am working on “reframing” my stories.  It’s part of the recovery program.  I am grateful for what the experience taught me.

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